So it's a new year… I know I'm behind, but better late than never :) I'm still having trouble writing 2015 as the year! 2015 has arrived and with it comes new possibilities, memories, and adventures. As much as that excites me, I also don't want to forget all that God did in 2014. This past year has been filled with trials and hardships, but also with joy and laughter. Getting to spend time with longtime friends, and start new friendships.
Had a summer full of adventures.
I got to travel with friends!
I moved to another state, and started a new job!
God has blessed me in 2014 more than I've asked for or dreamt about! He has provided everything I need, taught me new things, and loved me always.
Looking back it's been an amazing year and I wouldn't change any of it! So here's to 2015, may it be filled with even more adventures, friendships, joy, and growing stronger in who God is, and who He made me.
"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen." –Ephesians 3:20-21
Lately God has been bringing the word BRAVE into my life. In
my favorite songs, in books, movies. It’s been everywhere.
I've been learning, and believing that with God I really can
do anything! I've done and continue to do things I NEVER thought I would do,
only by the grace of God. Through God I can overcome my inability. God makes me
brave.
It’s something God has been teaching me. Looking back I can
see it’s been something He’s been bringing up over the years. He’s called me to
do things I never thought I’d do, He’s called me to face my fears and I've realized I
can do it!
Brave is defined as this:
"To possess or exhibit courage or courageous endurance."
Growing up I definitely would NOT describe myself as a brave
person. I was shy and crippled by fear. There were a lot of things I didn't do
because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to do it. There’s a quote I heard
recently. “Fear kills more dreams then failure ever will.” That is so true! How
many dreams have we given up on, not because we've failed, but because we’re
too scared to even try?
I love superhero movies. Not just because they save the world [and the girl :)], but the fact THAT they save the world. Because they are brave. They face giants and demons that could very well destroy them, but they march on with great courage putting other’s lives before their own.
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and
courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your
God is with you wherever you go.”
-Joshua 1:9
Did you catch that? God COMMANDED Joshua to be strong and
courageous. So many times we pray and ask God to give us strength and courage, but
as I read this verse I wonder; maybe that strength and courage is already inside
of us? God is always with us, He tells us that over and over thought the
scriptures (Matt 28:20). If God is for us, who can be against us (Rom 8:31)? So
if God is with us and for us, why aren't we brave? That should give us great
courage and joy, in the end God wins! God has defeated Satan, and all of our
fears. We are more than conquerors (Rom 8:37), not by our own strength but by God's strength.
Now I’m not saying being brave easy, I’m still working on it
every day! But God never promised an easy life, He just promised He’d be there
every step of the way.
Yes I know Thanksgiving was yesterday, but we should be thankful everyday. So I decided to do this to remind myself to always be thankful.
"Enter His gates with thanksgiving,
and Hiscourts with praise!
Give thanks to Him;bless His name!
For theLordis good;
His steadfast love endures forever,
and Hisfaithfulness to all generations."
- Psalm 100:4-5
I have so much to be thankful for!
For all my friends near and far. I'm so blessed to know friends all over the world doing things with God. I treasure their love and encouragement. No matter how long we go without talking, we always seem to pick up right where we left off.
My wonderful family. We don't always get along, but I know no matter what we do we always love each other. When I feel no one believes in me, I know they do.
For God providing all that I need. It hasn't been easy and most of the time I get overwhelmed, but God has been with me every step of the way and He wont stop now.
Jesus taking the punishment for all our sins. But also rising from death, so that we can live!
"Giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ"
For years I've heard the question asked "If you could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?"
I never knew quite who to say. But now without a doubt I would say:
"Esther."
I want to ask her what it was like to stand before the king, asking him to save her people knowing he could kill her.
Was she ever aware of God's plan for her life?
Did she ever loose faith?
She seems like such an amazing woman of God! She won favor in the eyes of anyone who met her. Changed the heart of the king with kindness. She Obeyed, but stood up for what was right. She was kind, and she loved and cared for so many! But most of all I admire her courage. If I ever have the chance, I hope I can speak the words she said:
"Then I will go to the king, though it is against the law, and if I perish, I perish."
-Esther 4:16
She was an orphan, raised by her aunt and uncle. She was not rich, she didn't have an extraordinary upbringing. Esther was just a young woman with faith, courage, and a powerful God.
"And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”
-Esther 4:16
Yes Esther, you were born for such a time as this.
I thought I should probably make an update since I haven't wrote anything in a long time :)
After I got back from YWAM (see previous posts), it took me a long time to adjust back to life. I missed my friends, the teachings, the experiences and adventures, everything (I still do)! But after some long, constant, crying out talks with God I now know I am where I'm supposed to be... for now.
I know God has something amazing for me, I don't know when and where, but when He says "Go." I'll go.
In the meantime, I'm looking for a full time job. I've had a couple of temporary jobs, and I'm still doing [and LOVING] photography. I'm also involved at my church, helping with the 5th and 6th grades on Wednesday nights, I dance occasionally, and I sing on the worship team. I'm also a mentor to a Jr. High girl.
A few weekends ago I got to help on a teen girls weekend, I also gave a talk on Christian growth through study. It was so amazing!!! It made me realize even more the passion that I have for working with youth.
God keeps showing me that I can do so much more than I ever thought I could. If you would've asked me 5 years ago if I would believe that my first time flying would be over seas, and I would travel to three countries and one is a closed nation, and that I would give a 20ish minuet talk to about 25 people. I would have said "no."
All I can say is that when God says to do something, you can do it! He will never let you fall.
Something God has been teaching me lately, is to have still small moments with Him throughout the day. We get so wrapped up in the business of our lives, even if we're not really that busy the Internet takes up most of our free time, that we forget to spend time with God! And how many times when I do have a quiet time in the morning, do I still forget about Him for the rest of the day?!
God has been showing me, He loves to meet with me when I least expect it. He loves to share in the everyday moments of life with me. But how many times do I miss it? And so may times I ask God to speak to me, but maybe He has been and I haven't been listening.
We say we love God, but we put Him in a box only to be accessed when it's convent for us. Yet we get mad when our friends ignore us, let's take a step back and think. God is real and He is working, sometimes I need to remember to act like I believe it!
So here's a reminder for all of us today, God wants to speak to you, all you have to do is listen.
Life is so uncertain It happens if you are ready or not. Whether we believe it or not everyday we're getting older and learning more about ourselves and the world around us.
It's not about where we end up in life, it's the path we take to get there. And it might just be the smallest moments that make the biggest difference in your or someone else's life. So always remember to be thankful for where you are and to let God use you in every moment, and enjoy wherever you are! Someday you might wish you would have.
So no matter how big or small; embrace life, because at any given moment someone could be looking at you. What do you want them to see?
Something that changed me on outreach was in the form of a
sweet little girl we called monkey.
Going to India I knew I had a heart for children, but going
to the brothels scared me. When we walked into the brothels for the first time
it was crowded, smelled bad, and the stairways up into the building where we
would be teaching in were steep, small and dark. When I went one morning for
ministry I didn't know what to expect, we arrived to teach preschool and a
little girl walked in the room and changed my life. She, in the midst of one of
the darkest places on earth has this amazing joy about her. We called her
monkey because she loved to be held so much she would basically climb up you to
be there. I remember the first day I met her she took my hands in hers and
began to jump, I would pull her up so she would fly higher. She laughed and
never wanted me to stop. She always sat in our laps, and she loved to kiss our
cheeks.
That sweet little girl in an Indian brothel stole my heart
forever.
The sad part of her story is that she is still in the
brothels. She is neglected by her mother, each time she came for preschool she
was hungry, thirsty, and needed to use the restroom. She always came in with
the same dirty clothes. Growing up in the brothels her destiny is to be a
prostitute.
We are God’s plan to save children and woman like her. Maybe
we can’t go, but our prayers are just as powerful, and God is still at work in
their lives.
Around 27 million people are enslaved around the world. It's time we stopped pretending that if we don't know about it, it's not happening. That's a lie! It's going on right now! Here and around the world!
"The court finds you guilty." The judge announced. "And sentence you to the death penalty."
The young man sitting in the courtroom hung his head when he heard his sentence. He let out a deep breath as the guards led him out of the courtroom, and to a small dark room where one chair sat.
They lowered him into the chair and began to strap him in. Just then a young woman walked in.
"Why are you doing this?" She asked the man in the chair. "I committed the crime, I should be in that chair."
He looked at her, eyes full of love and said "I love you. I've forgiven you, and want you to be free. I'm serving your sentence, you are free of the crime you committed."
That's my God. He loves us so much that He will die so that we can live! He drank the cup of wrath so we can live freely with Him. So this Maundy Thursday, please take time to remember that Jesus died for you, your sins nailed Him to the cross. He died for the sins you committed.
But He also didn't just die, He came back to life, concerning death! YOU ARE FREE!!! Go, sin no more. "Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. 5 But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed."
For those of you who don't know starting September 16th I will be a part of YWAM (Youth With A Mission)! I'm doing to Children At Risk program. Basically it's a 6 month mission program. The first 3 months are spent going through seminars and getting to know each other. Then for 2 months I will be overseas spending time with Children with aids or have been orphaned and loving on them, and showing them that God cares for them. You can check out the YWAM Facebook page here. From there you can go to their website if you want to know more.
I am fully funded, THANK YOU GOD!!! And thank you to everyone who has donated. Your prayers and encouragement are greatly appreciated!
I'd also like to add a HUGE thank you to my mom! For supporting me and making sure I have everything I need before I leave. I honestly don't know what I'd do without her! LOVE YOU!! ♥♥
Stay tuned to my blog for updates while I am at YWAM. THANK YOU!!!!
They become your everything, your hopes and dreams. You become their biggest fan and their support system. Your world begins to revolve around them and what they do. They consume your time and your mind. They make you smile, laugh, cry, and feel things that you've never felt before.
But what if that person doesn't love you back?
They go on living like you don't exist. They don't care about you, your hopes or dreams. They don't want you around. They might even go and love someone or something else other than you. They may not knowingly treat you like this, but maybe they do know. Either way they don't feel the same way you feel about them.
Do you still love them?
If you truly loved them from the beginning, you'll still love them even after they practically threw your heart on the ground. That is true love. Loving someone when they don't love you back or when they don't deserve it.
I've experienced this before, and in the midst of my heartbreak I've thought, "This must be how God feels when someone He loves doesn't love Him back." He is passionate about us! Not just Christians, everyone! He wants us to experience His love and blessings, but most of all, eternal life! He needs us to go out and show people know how much He loves them! They are never too far away to come to Him, repent and ask forgiveness. We are it, there is no plan B!
"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age" -Matthew 28:19-20. It is not a suggestion, but a command! Some of us are senders and some of us go, but we all play a part!
John Piper says, “When it comes to world missions, there are only three kinds of Christians: zealous goers, zealous senders, and disobedient ones.” Which one are you?
I believe everything happens for a reason.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven."
I believe God will work for the good of those who love Him, and makes all things work together for our good.
Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him."
Even if we don't think of it as good, we might think it's the worst thing that's ever happened to us, but God promises to always be there.
Deuteronomy 31:6 "for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Hebrews 13:5 "because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”
I believe God reigns! In everything, good or bad!! ♥
Sometimes no matter what you do or how hard you try, that thing you want or place you want to be just wont happen. I've tried to convince myself "In time." but I can see clearly now that God was saying "No."
I tried to think of every reason to keep holding on to hope, and God knew the only way He could get through to me during that time was in big ways. It was a silent war happening inside of me, my feelings were getting the best of me, it felt like my heart was at war with my mind. My mind knew what I needed, but my heart knew what I wanted.
When those big things happened (which seemed huge to me, but I know no one else knew about them), First I was angry, I couldn't understand why God would let me feel these feelings if they were only going to come crashing down. Then I cried for hours, on the floor in my room and before I fell asleep.
Over time I learned how to feel again, I could smile and laugh with friends and not have to fake it, I grew closer to God because I went to Him for comfort and He loved on me. I learned to turn to Him first and get His okay before my feelings ran away with something. And I believe that I'm now a stronger, smarter, and better person.
Here is a quote I heard once; "If you love somebody, set them free. And if they really love you, they'll come back." To me it says; if it's meant to be, it will happen. If not, it wont. So trust God! He will not let you down!
"I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." Philippians 4:11
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,because you know that the testing of your faithdevelops perseverance.Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be matureand complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4
Sometimes you just have to let go, no matter how much it hurts.
Ugh. Really God? Wait? Why can't you just tell me now? I've felt like that a lot! When I ask God about something I want to know it now, but I've learned that's not how He works! During the long time of waiting I wrote about in my last post, God spoke to me. He brought a picture of a prayer maze to my mind and spoke these words to my heart. "It's not about the answers, it's about the journey it takes to get there."
Think about it, in a prayer maze you don't just walk right to the middle, you follow the trail and pray along the way. That's how we grow with God, we follow Him and are in communication with Him, and the longer it takes you to get there the more things you can see and experience. Waiting has strengthened my faith more than I could have imagined! Waiting has made me trust God more and lean on Him for everything, and when He brought the answers, it's made me realize that God's plans are far greater than I what I could come up with, and that makes me want to follow Him so much more!
So if you are in a season of waiting or just waiting on some little things, take heart! Know that God will answer and He is always right beside you knowing the perfect time to reveal His plan to you.
Jeremiah 29:11-14; For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord.
Psalm 27: 14; Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.
Here is a song that I love, "Wait" by Fike (If you want to hear just the song skip to about 1:30)
The other day I was driving home from work and this song came on the radio, I'd heard it before and thought it was a good song but nothing more, but I believe God really wanted to open my ears to this song and speak to my heart to remind me how much He loves me. It literally brought me to tears. (Don't worry, I got home safely :))
I always know and believe that He loves me more than I can imagine, but sometimes I forget really how much.
